Watermelons.
Now, some of you think the act of selecting a good watermelon and enjoying it is easy and second nature. Wrong. There is an art in being blessed with watermelons. This rigorous routine might take some (the slow witted) up to an hour or more.
Hey hey hey… don't despair just yet. I will enlighten you. Consider it… consider it my gift to the world. Passing on a dying secret that, if learned, would make you the most powerful person on earth. You think I'm exaggerating? Image never missing in selecting watermelons. Every watermelon you select would be perfect! Now that's power. Forget politics, fame, and money, friends. Concentrate on watermelons.
Phase 1: Selecting a Watermelon:
There are 3 points you need to take into consideration to conquer the selection process.
1. You need a keen eye for this. Look closely at the watermelon. Close enough for you to see the outer edges clearly. Now you should be able to see, or if needed, sense with your fingers, a dimply surface. Extra smooth surface is bad. Unsmooth is good. Remember that folks.
2. This is hard to explain, but give the watermelon a thump. If the vibration sound was similar to thumping a hard solid object, that watermelon is not for you. Leave it for a poor schmuck to take. You're looking for a good vibration. As if you're thumping a rubbery object, imagine your car steering wheel (those of you with leather steering wheels), this is the sound you should be looking for. This shows how ripe the watermelon is because of the amount of water inside it.
3. This one is easy, it’s a visual point. On every watermelon you have your green color and another color that offsets it. Usually the color is whitish yellow. The closer to yellow the color, the better and the riper the watermelon would be.
Some important points worth mentioning:
1. Seeds. Some of you might have the urge to spit the seeds out, anywhere. Please refrain from doing such a thing and use a garbage container. Due to the slippery nature of the seeds, this might cause someone harmful injuries if they slip. Thank you.
2. Familiarize yourself with these signs after enjoying a wonderful watermelon. You might be needing them very soon. If you're planning on staying at home, then you're ok. Otherwise you don't want to be caught off guard.
3. Put everything into context. Sometimes, if the watermelon looks too good to be true. It isn’t. Be wary of deliciously red watermelons. They could be painted. (It's a long procedure, that I wish not get into). Countries known to do this are, (sorry if you're from one of them, but the truth has to be told), Egypt, India, Croatia, some say Iran as well, and last but not least Denmark!
Phase 2: Preparation:
After selecting your watermelon, it is time to start preparing for the big moment. You need equipment. I have here a few recommendations that worked well with me in the past. These might not work best with you, but given my extensive knowledge on the subject (if there was a PhD program, I would have enrolled), I think it is wise to follow through on these recommendations.
1. The tray. You need a good solid tray, not too heavy, not too light. A border with some height might serve best due to the nature of the fruit at hand.
2. The cutting knife. I have tried many knives and I settled on this one. The curvature of the knife itself helps with the cutting. It is not too jagged and will not ruin the texture of the watermelon. Smooth cuts are best. (I cannot disclose the shop I got these knives from, this blog does not allow endorsements).
Now folks, I'd like to share with you something that might put my credibility in jeopardy. I got an anonymous tip on the whereabouts of this matter, and I had to fly off to Thailand to confirm this… this… this phenomena. Look closely at the picture below. Amazing isn't it?
No it's not the Buddha. Can't find it? Look closely to the right, yes… a yellow watermelon! And here are some more pictures. I think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread!
So did you find this post interesting and knowledgeable? I hope your next watermelon is chosen using the "al-aQra3" method.
And now folks, its time for kila ma6goog, and I to treat ourselves to some deliciously "watermelony" watermelons.
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