Early Retirement

DAY 1

Bailiff: Here ye, here ye. All rise. The honorable Judge Judy presiding… The Blog Court is now in session!

Judge: Please be seated. Alright, let the hearings begin. Prosecution… Let's hear your opening speech.

Prosecution: Your honor, jurors, people of this blog. During this case, we will prove that the defendant al-aQra3 is guilty of malice, thought provocation, and many other indecent, unheard of, actions. We will not only establish this on several accounts, but we'll also prove that given the chance, al-aQra3 will strike again.


Judge: Will the Defense rise. How do you plead?

Defense: Insanity!

Judge: (Sighs) Oh well… your opening speech then.

Defense: During this session, we'll prove that the defendant al-aQra3 was not sane during his actions. We will then suggest medical measures that are more suitable to his illness. We believe jail would not serve any justice.

* * *

DAY 237

… prosecution closing speech.

Prosecution: During these many months, we established that not only is the defendant sane, but that his brain is functioning at a higher level than your average male (woohoooo.. alright… go me!). Which proves that not only was he intending to stir up a commotion in this peaceful town, but that his sadistic intentions were coming from lack of respect to the norm. The mere fact that the defendant is wearing bunny slippers to court, your Honor, proves that Mr.al-aQra3 is lacking the proper respect to this court -- --

Defense: Objection your Honor! My defendant has cold feet and needs the support and comfort of his bunny slippers -- --

Judge: Objection overruled. Prosecution go on.

Prosecution: Your Honor, I have nothing else to add.

Judge: Defense closing speech.

Defense: الموت لأمريكا! الموت لأمريكا!

Judge: You will speak in a language that is understood here. ENGLISH!

Defense: شي لمهين! شي لمهين

Judge: SILENCE IN THIS COURT!!!

Silence…

Judge: I do not know… under what convoluted circumstances you, and your inhumane self, were given a proper education, an education which lead to the abuse of this blog site. You have been given a chance to live in society peacefully without challenging the status quo. But you had to abuse that privilege!

Silence…
Judge: I cannot think of a better punishment than to ban you from writing on this blog site.

Defense: Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Bailiff: Court session is over. Case is closed!

* * *

Post Session Comments:

Kila Ma6goog: I don't know, I thought we had it. I guess I was wrong… Oh well… al-aQra3 is screwed… Big deal!


Stock Expert: I think this will have a tremendous reflection on the Kuwait stock market.


Concerned Citizen: I hope al-aQra3 rots in hell! PUNK!


Criminal Specialist: Damn it! Yes! YES! It's not a wig! Now can we move on?


Blog Writer / Butcher: Well what can I say? I think it is obvious that al-aQra3 is guilty. (To interviewer) I think you're cute… Want to see my knives collection?


"Crazy / Not Crazy" Author: The only way you'll know if someone is crazy, is if you flip a coin… See if it was Heads, he's crazy… If it was tails, he's not. Simple!


Witness: Why don't they just chop off his hands? This way they'll insure he won't write again. What? What do I do? I'm a kindergarten teacher.

al-aQra3:

It has been one heck of a ride hasn't it?
We've talked about subjects ranging from watermelons to reproduction… we traveled together from Mecca to Bangkok… Well… what can I say… It was fun! Yes indeed… yes indeedeeeee!

Less is more… so I'll shut up now.

:-)